Category Archives: Our Picks

Bears vs. Vikings: Not quite the ‘good scene’ in a ‘bad movie’

So I thought I smelled upset…it turned out to just be stench of asswhip…also known as complete and total domination. I know, they totally have a similar aroma. The Bears actually did show us exactly who they are today while getting smacked around by the Vikings. I guess some movies…well, they just completely suck and should not be viewed. Can someone call up Bill Cowher and see what he’s doing next year?

In other highlights:
Jay Cutler continued his poor play while the rest of the team continued not to play.
The Cover 2 defense proved once again that it is not designed to stop a slant or a post route…ever.
Orlando Pace continued his false start/holding penalty streak (let’s keep building on that).
Matt Forte is changing positions from running back to ‘really fast walking’ back.
And the defense was ‘stingy’…giving up a measley 300 first half yards and smidge over 500 for the game. Stifiling.

I think we made some progress today. I can’t wait for the Rams.


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Bears vs. Vikings: Is it just me or does anybody else smell tease?

After a night out with the old lady and spending 50 bucks on a meal that left us both still hungry…I got to thinking about poor financial decisions. I can’t believe I got upsold on the wine…it all tastes the same after two glasses anyway. Being late Saturday night my next logical thought was about Bears vs. Vikings.

We’re all down on the Bears right? Same old shit…tampa 2…Rex is our quarterback…still a quarter left in the season…yeah…we’ve heard it all. After a couple of bad losses to Philly and San Fran, we have pretty much written them off. They are 4-6, what’s the point?

This is the problem with being a Bear fan or a fan of the NFL in general. Just when you think its all over, they tend to yank your chain. Just like a movie with a bad ending, right when you expect the credits to start rolling…they break into another scene. You stay tuned hoping for a better plot resolution.

The Bears and Vikings are that scene. Don’t get me wrong, this is a bad movie…very bad. But even bad movies have good scenes.

Every logical bone in my body tells me that the Bears don’t stand a chance against Minnesota. Orlando Pace trying to slow down Jared Allen…Farve picking apart a weak Chicago secondary…’All Day’ Adrian running right through the Bear’s D-Line. It all has the looks of an easy-breezy-lemon teezy Vikings win.

But that’s the beauty of the NFL and in particular the Bears. Right when you think you know something…you don’t. Just when a pattern emerges, it ends. And just when everyone thinks the Vikes will roll the Bears on Sunday, they won’t.

This is that one good scene in a bad movie. I don’t know why or how this will happen, but its got the classical set up for a Bear win. That one game where they put it all together for four quarters before regressing to who they really are. Their season is about over, they are coming off a couple bad losses, and the Vikings are simply a better team. Result…Bears win 27-24 on a Robbie Gould field goal and you wake up Monday morning hoping this movie has a better ending. Its classic, right when you think the Bears season is over, they come up with an unexpected win making you say, ‘You know, if they win the next 6 in a row….’

This is why we watch bad movies – even the worst ones can still be entertaining for a period of time.

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Ice it…

Do you like winning??  Without second thought, hell yes should have been your answer… and if you want to win this weekend, you came to the right place.  I’ve had Ice water running through my veins lately and this weekend will be no different.  Get to the window, and get ready to fill those pockets with some coin.

Cal @ Stanford / Stanford giving 8…

This Pac-10 beauty has the #17 Cardinal hosting the #25 Cal Bears.  Sure, Cal brings in a wonderfully talented running back Jahvid Best, averaging 6.1 yds a carry and an impressive 12 TD’s.  Only one slight problem, Best is out with a concussion.  Sure, Cal was able to handle #17 Arizona last week, but Arizona hadn’t scored 139 points over the last 3 games destroying the #8 and #9 team in the country.  That distinction belongs to the Jim Harbaugh led Cardinal.  These future lawyers and doctors are crushing teams as of late, and that doesn’t stop this weekend.  Giving only 8 to a Bestless Cal team… Cal is toast.  Stanford wins this game by at least 17 making this win a breeze for us gamble Gaters.  Take Stanford and enjoy the show.

Oregon @ Arizona / Ducks giving 6

Next up for my parlay pleasure, brings me back to the Pac-10 for some west coast delight.  The Ugly Ducks of Oregon are traveling down to face off against the Desert Swarm.  Big problem for the Swarm, they have yet to face a Top 25 this year and Oregon brings in the #11 team in the country and horrible uniforms.  I am not sure which is going to be uglier, watching Arizona’s defense try to stop an offense averaging 37.1 PPG or the terrible yellow/green combination that Oregon wears on occasion (and what the hell are those feathers on their shoulder pads).  Lagarrette Blount, the kid who threw the punch heard around the world, is back in the lineup for Oregon.  I don’t anticipate seeing much of him, but Oregon isn’t going to need him to knock these guys out.  Giving Arizona less than a touchdown, Oregon wins big.  Take them and rejoice.

UConn @ Notre Dame / ND giving 6

Interesting game… The tubby Weis has his hands full with national speculation that he is out at the end of the year, and I don’t disagree.  Mr. SuperBowl rings hasn’t done squat (and I mean nothing at all, not the exercise squats, although those are clearly not being done either) since taking the job nearly 5 years ago.  He has some nice talent on that squad with more than a few guys moving onto a Sunday schedule in the near future.  That just makes his failures even more concerning.  All that talent, yet not one victory against a Top 20, ever, ouch big fella.  An inspired UConn team comes to South Bend getting 6 points and I am all about it.  UConn has lost their 5 games by a total of 15 points.  Couple that with ND’s traditional Stanford match-up next week, and you have a recipe for a UConn win.  This game being at ND makes no difference to me, UConn on national TV getting 6, I love it… Take UConn, look for the snotty nosed Weis to be whining on the sideline all day, and laugh all the way to the window as you collect your winnings, baby!!!

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Cleveland Rocks

The Browns are to me what fat chicks are to Mark Grace — SlumpBusters.  For those of you not familiar, the Cubs All-Star 1st Baseman had a sure fire way to break himself out of a dreaded slump.  He would find the biggest broad in the bar and bang her like a screen door in a hurricane.  He swore by it, even encouraged other teammates to do the same.  And based on some of the Cubs teams of the 90’s, there must have been a whole lotta big girls gettin’ a whole bunch of lovin’.

The point is, the Browns are my slumpbuster.  After another disasterours Sunday, I found myself scrapng the bottom of the barrel Monday evening, looking for anyway to salvage my week.  And what did I find?  The bloated, chubby cheeked, cottage cheesed, fat bottomed Cleveland Browns.  The Dawgs, were just that, of the +11 1/2 point variety.  And even though it seemed that everything I had touched the last two weeks had turned to mush, there was no way the Ravens wouldn’t cover.  There was no way Cleveland was going to show up as anything other than the triple chined, thunder thighed chick at the end of the bar.  And much like Mark Grace, I slapped that thigh and rode the wave right out of my slump.  

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I Like ‘Em

Ice, I like those.  I like Green Bay more than I do Seattle.  I know Seattle is at home, but that doesn’t hold the same weight it used to.  Detroit sucks yes, but Seattle aint that good either.  That being said, you know I’m a big fan of history and trends — both of the Seahawk wins came at home against the two terrible teams you mentioned.  It stands to reason then,  it will be the same story this week against the Lions.

Here’s a surprise — I love the Falcons at home this week.  Atlanta is 3-0 at home. Washington is 0-3 on the road.  The Falcons are coming off a tough loss last week, almost pulling out the victory on the road against the NFC best Saints.  They will be out for blood this week.  And, the Skins blow.  Enough said.

All the other games to me are a toss-up.  A lot of 3 point spreads this week.  It scares me.  I did like the Dolphins, but I’m beginning to think its a sucker bet.  They are turning into the sexy pick of the week, and I don’t like it.  Our beloved Bears take on the Cards at home.  The Bears are 3-0 at home, while the Cards are 3-0 on the road.  Stay away from this game.  I could see Houston making it a game in Indy, but I’m not confident enough to wager.  Chargers and Giants.  Chargers arrow is pointing up, Giants on a three game losing streak heading the other way.  Stay away.  Both the Cowboys and Eagles are on a roll.  This is always an emotional game.  Again, could go either way.

So in my mind there are four possible picks:  Packers, Seahawks, Dolphins, and Falcons.  I suggest parlaying the strongest two.  I know which way I’m leaning….green-bay-packers-logo1falcons

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Put it on Ice….

green-bay-packers-logoTime to get serious….  the weekend is upon us and it’s time to make some coin.  Only 3 home dogs this week and I’m not liking any of them.  As a matter of fact I like the first one going the other way.  GB Packers (yes, I still can’t stand them) are giving 10 against the Bucs.  Aaron Rodgers is the most sacked QB in the league, 31 times, yet he still manages to have a passer rating of 110.4 (calling Jay Cutler… yes this proves that you can still be highly effective when getting pressured).  Line that up against a defense without Monte Kiffin directing the ship, Ice it baby, 31-10 winner.

VINYLMAGNET-SEAHAWKSSeattle has the miserable, yet not as bad as 2008 but why do we have to watch them on Thanksgiving every year, Lions at home giving 10.  At home this year against Jacksonville and St. Louis,  two teams considered to be in the same realm of the crap produced in Detroit, went into Seattle and got Haumillered on (for those who don’t know, haumiller is another way of saying dumped, craped, pooped, shatted on.. it was introduced by my buddy Deviouscycles, who has a way with words).  Both the Rams and Jags didn’t even cross the goal line.  I expect the Lions to score something, perhaps 6 in an effort in which Seattle puts up 27, Ice it….

Kid, those are the first two that really jump at me…. hit us with your thoughts.


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NIU – I knew it!!!!


Why didn’t I bet my Huskies last night?  21 point home favorite.  I knew it was a lock!!  They thumped Eastern Michigan 50-6.  I didn’t even know Eastern Michigan existed.  I’ve partied at Western Michigan….but Eastern?

NIU is carving out a nice little season.  Almost upset Wisconsin in Madison to start the season, beat Purdue at Purdue, 4-1 in the MAC with the only blemish a loss on the road against Toledo by a point.  Go Huskies!

Speaking of betting, tough weekend all around.  The Irish jump out at me.  Only giving 11 at home against Navy.  Washington is getting 5 on the road at UCLA.  If Washington can beat USC, they can certainly beat UCLA.

NFL looks tricky.  Maybe Miami & Atlanta? Iceman — what are you thinking?

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