Author Archives: cubkid

Steelers Fan Talks Shit in Bears Bar – Gets Poisoned

PITTSBURGH – A Steelers fan, left blind and living with brain damage, says the effects were the result of being poisoned at a Chicago bar following a game in September.  “I haven’t been able to see. I’ve basically been blind for two months,” said Zack Heddinger. Heddinger told Channel 4 Action News anchor Michelle Wright that he and a few friends went to a bar following the Steelers’ 17-14 loss to the Bears at Soldier Field on Sept. 20. Heddinger said he and his friends were trash talking with Bears fans inside Kitty O’Shea’s, but can’t remember what else happened.”Basically, I guess, my buddies had gotten into an altercation and they offered a drink as a peacemaker from what I understand,” said Heddinger.  Not long after taking the drink, Heddinger passed out and was rushed to a nearby hospital, his heart stopping four times. “They thought it was antifreeze or something like that …because it was so strong,” said Heddinger.   Doctors suspect his drink may have been spiked with toxic grain alcohol.”I don’t think they tried to kill me. I think they tried to hurt me, but the killing came pretty close,” said Heddinger.

Let me share with you a quick story.  2006 NFC Divisional Playoff Game.  Bears vs Seahawks, Soldier Field.  Seattle fan four rows in front of us is wearing a plastic Seahawks helmet he’s probably had since he was a kid.  Long story short, by the middle of the 2nd QTR the face mask was ripped off and the helmet was smashed to pieces….while it was still on the dude’s head.

If I’ve said it once, I’ve said it a million times — if you’re not from Chicago, you don’t come here and talk shit.  You just don’t do it.  I mean, what was this silly son-of-a-bitch Steelers fan thinking?  Its CHICAGO!!  We beat the shit out of each other arguing over Cubs / Sox.  Can you imagine what we do to outsiders?  Forget about the gangs and the mob for a second, there is nothing scarier than a bunch of pissed off South-Side Pollacks with no future.  And what a goober, falling for the free peacemaker drink spiked with antifreeze.  Oldest trick in the book my friend.  This guy is LUCKY he’s not dead.  And let me assure you, if the Bears had lost 17-14 instead of won, he would be.  Let this just serve as a lesson to all the other wise-ass, shit- talking visitors out there — you run your mouth here and you head home missing an ear or not being able to screw or something.  And that’s if you’re lucky.


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Cleveland Rocks

The Browns are to me what fat chicks are to Mark Grace — SlumpBusters.  For those of you not familiar, the Cubs All-Star 1st Baseman had a sure fire way to break himself out of a dreaded slump.  He would find the biggest broad in the bar and bang her like a screen door in a hurricane.  He swore by it, even encouraged other teammates to do the same.  And based on some of the Cubs teams of the 90’s, there must have been a whole lotta big girls gettin’ a whole bunch of lovin’.

The point is, the Browns are my slumpbuster.  After another disasterours Sunday, I found myself scrapng the bottom of the barrel Monday evening, looking for anyway to salvage my week.  And what did I find?  The bloated, chubby cheeked, cottage cheesed, fat bottomed Cleveland Browns.  The Dawgs, were just that, of the +11 1/2 point variety.  And even though it seemed that everything I had touched the last two weeks had turned to mush, there was no way the Ravens wouldn’t cover.  There was no way Cleveland was going to show up as anything other than the triple chined, thunder thighed chick at the end of the bar.  And much like Mark Grace, I slapped that thigh and rode the wave right out of my slump.  

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Bad News Bears

cutler2 Wow! Just when you think it can’t get any worse….

I don’t even know where to begin.  I might as well start with Cutler.  The honeymoon is officially over.  5 INTs (2 more in the Red Zone) bringing his yearly total to 17.  People are jumping off the Jay Cutler bandwagon faster than Paris Hilton spreads ’em on a first date.  There is no way to defend him, well that is unless you’re wearing a Niners jersey.  Let me be clear: Cutler’s performance last night was atrocious.  No question.  His poor decision making and his continued inability to protect the ball in the Red Zone is unacceptable.  Plain and simple.  But please, let’s not lose perspective.

Sports talk is a buzz this morning with callers screaming for the return of Kyle Orton.  Have we completely lost our collective Bear minds?  Yes, Cutler has 17 picks on the year.  But he has also thrown 14 TDs.  Orton has 9. Nine, with a MUCH superior group of receivers.  Cutler is solely responsible for 2 of the Bears 4 wins.  Both the Steeler game and the Seahawk game, the Bears won because of Cutler and in spite of the rest of the team.  Games in which, let me assure you, Orton would not have won.  You take the good with the bad when it comes to Cutler.  He is still young.  He is a young gunslinger.  You are going to get games like last night and the Green Bay game.  But you are also going to get games in which he takes the team upon his shoulders and wins them because of his pure athletic ability and his fearlessness.  The same fearlessness that sometimes gets him into trouble.  Again, I’m not defending his terrible performance last night. He must get better.  But that will come with time, experience, and maturity.  And most of all, by improving the players around him.  For now, I’ll take the good with the bad.  I’m just afraid Cutler’s disaster last night is clouding the big picture.

The Bears are just not a very good team.  They have lost 4 of the last 5 games, going 1-4 after the bye.  They have been outscored 123 – 81 in those games and if you take out the Cleveland game (because let’s face it, the Browns are not a real NFL team) it gets even worse at 117 – 51.  You can’t blame that all on Jay.

Our so-called #1 receiver had three consecutive plays that consisted of a false start, a holding penalty, and falling down that caused an interception.  There is no running game.  Pass protection is a joke.  There were multiple delay of games — one coming on a FG attempt!  The D played well last night, but still didn’t make any big plays.  The Lance Briggs pick was void because of an offsides penalty and a Tillman forced fumble was recovered by Frisco.  There is no player or coach that is innocent in the homicide of the 2009 season.

And on a side note — the NFL Network is awful.  The camera angles suck, the audio sucks, and they don’t even show down and distance.  BRUTAL.


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Milton Bradley

With the GM meetings underway, the topic most Cubs fans are discussing is Milton Bradley.  We all know Cubs GM Jim Hendry took a big chance bringing the highly volatile Bradley to Chicago last spring.  It undeniably turned into one of the worst free agent disasters in Cubs history.  Bradley was not only a major bust on the field, but was a cancer in the clubhouse and a total distraction off the field.  Proving once again that a zebra doesn’t change its stripes.  So now the question becomes, how do the Cubs get rid of this guy, get someone in return and do so without having to eat all of his remaining $9.6 million in total salary?  There have been numerous trade rumors.  Reports say the Cubs have been in talks with the Mets about Bradley for Luis Castillo and the Rays regarding a Bradley for Pat Burrel deal.  Texas has longed been rumored to be willing to take Bradley back.  However, it was never known under what circumstances.  ESPN is now reporting that the deal could include swapping Bradley for RHP Kevin Millwood.  I’m not quite sure what the right move is here.  I’m wondering what all of our “Gators” out there think.  So, here is our first poll:


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Shattered Weekend

The only way my football weekend could have been worse, is if I had fallen off the barstool and split my head open while suffering through the Notre Dame game & downing a few bloody mary’s on Saturday at Doyle’s.

Once again, my lock of the week comes through with Atlanta covering at home.  That was the only bright spot to my weekend.  Not that it mattered, because Green Bay completely choked and lost at Tampa.  Blowing the parlay that would of paid $220.

The Packers cost me again (15 points) in my confidence pool.  The Giants, Niners, and Bears cost me as well.

I got absolutely murdered in Fantasy, by a team that is far inferior to mine.  Mostly because he had Kurt Warner that torched the Bears and put up 34 fantasy points.

Speaking of the Bears.  EM-BEAR-ASSING.  I was going to rant on what a joke the Bears have become.  On how god-awful the O-Line is, how brutal the D-Line has become, on how Tommie Harris is one of the biggest bums in Bears history, how the Bear “receivers” can’t seem to break off their routes and get open for a scrambling Cutler, on how the only players that have any fight in them are Cutler, Alex Brown, and Lance Briggs, and how downright terrible the coaching is.  But why bother?  Why waste anymore time on them?  I already wasted 3 hours on Sunday, I’m not going to do it again on Monday.  Bottom line is, we need a change.  Fire Lovie.  lovie

Notre Dame.  Another waste of time.  43 straight years beating Navy.  Lose 2 out of the last 3 under Charlie Weis, who has turned the once proud Fighting Irish into a complete laughing stock.  Fire him!


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Sammy Sosa? What the f***?

sosas-SAMMY-SOSA-SKIN-large I have just one question before I rant about one of the worst possbile football weekends ever:  What in the hell happened to Sammy Sosa? I had no idea one of the side effects of steriod abuse was turning into a god damn vampire!


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I Like ‘Em

Ice, I like those.  I like Green Bay more than I do Seattle.  I know Seattle is at home, but that doesn’t hold the same weight it used to.  Detroit sucks yes, but Seattle aint that good either.  That being said, you know I’m a big fan of history and trends — both of the Seahawk wins came at home against the two terrible teams you mentioned.  It stands to reason then,  it will be the same story this week against the Lions.

Here’s a surprise — I love the Falcons at home this week.  Atlanta is 3-0 at home. Washington is 0-3 on the road.  The Falcons are coming off a tough loss last week, almost pulling out the victory on the road against the NFC best Saints.  They will be out for blood this week.  And, the Skins blow.  Enough said.

All the other games to me are a toss-up.  A lot of 3 point spreads this week.  It scares me.  I did like the Dolphins, but I’m beginning to think its a sucker bet.  They are turning into the sexy pick of the week, and I don’t like it.  Our beloved Bears take on the Cards at home.  The Bears are 3-0 at home, while the Cards are 3-0 on the road.  Stay away from this game.  I could see Houston making it a game in Indy, but I’m not confident enough to wager.  Chargers and Giants.  Chargers arrow is pointing up, Giants on a three game losing streak heading the other way.  Stay away.  Both the Cowboys and Eagles are on a roll.  This is always an emotional game.  Again, could go either way.

So in my mind there are four possible picks:  Packers, Seahawks, Dolphins, and Falcons.  I suggest parlaying the strongest two.  I know which way I’m leaning….green-bay-packers-logo1falcons

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