Things we should all learn in high school

Let me drop some score on what Ice Man touched on…

‘I thought high school games were played on Friday’ – Troy Aikman on the Bears performance against the Arizona Cardinals.

Never fall in love with the hottest girl in your high school; she always ends up to be a dissapointment a few years down the road. She’ll flaunt that 18-yr old figure but a few years of campus binge drinking always brings out the best in everyone. Three years later, you’ll wonder why you sacrificed all that time with her while watching all those ‘other girls’…more deserving girls get that ring on their finger they rightfully deserved. I’m a victim of my own advice. The once swarming, ball hawking, opportunistic, 11-man shield protecting the goal posts on the lake front has been reduced to shell of its former self. The 2006 prom queen, prude and impreganable without prophylactics is now washed up and has the likes of Tim Hightower ‘running up in it.’ When did she become so easy? It’s a damn shame, she used to look sooooo good…mmmm.

The Bengals remind me of another thing I learned in high school. You know that girl that never really looked that attractive…always got in trouble…didn’t have her shit together so you paid her no mind? Well boys, always be nice to her because you never know what she will turn out to be. A few years down the road when you and your buddies are trying to run game at the local watering hole, she’s going to walk in. Tossing that shiny hair over her shoulder and flaunting that ass. Her once-unapproachable personality blossumed and you find that she is no longer the socially awkard ‘troubled’ girl…rather she’s the talk of the bar, turning all heads while your boy mumurs… ‘Isn’t that what’s her face?’ You can’t believe it…what the fuck happened here? She used to be a big mess and while she might not be ‘championship’ material, you know damn well that she’s going to see a ring far faster than the rag doll your dating…even if its only a cheap engagement ring with ‘AFC Champion’ engraved on it. It all comes full circle…just as fitting as watching Ced Benson come back and run right over you, and when its happens you’re going to turn to your buddy as say, ‘You know we used to date, right?’

Bullshit…and if you did, then you shouldn’t have been so quick to dump her. Idiot. But I guess that your Forte when your Thomas ‘Jones-in’, huh?

Well, since 2006, the Bears have had my cheap engagement ring…NFC Champion, but she’s not what she used to be…and at this point…with her current qualities and disasterous make-up… I think we are just forever engaged. She’s never going get her ‘wedding’ ring. What a bitch.

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1 Comment

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One response to “Things we should all learn in high school

  1. David

    Amen to that.

    Unfortunately, the Bears need more work. They are less like a shell of what they used to be and more like a hooker without lube: dry, used up and loose, in more ways than one.

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